Kidnapped TKC
by C00K13 QU33N
Summary: POV of a girl who is obsessed with TKC to the extent of kidnapping the characters to ask them questions! Who is the C00K13 QU33N that evaluates the questions? Why, me of course! Send questions and have them asked by any character. Officially discontinued!
1. Zarter and Sanubis

**Anyone else wondering how some of the TKC characters would react to certain things? Well, I did, and to prove how much I wanted it to happen, I kidnapped several characters to hear it from them!**

**0~0~0~0~0~0**

THE STUDIO AUDIENCE CLAPS AS MISS SADIE KANE STEPS ONTO THE STAGE AND TAKES A SEAT.

"Bloody brilliant…" She muttered, squinting into the bright light.

I grinned and pulled out my 'Stage Mike' and said, "Sadie Kane, are you ready for a few questions?"

"What kind of question is that?" She yelled, "I was trying to relax on the terrace and I get kidnapped by a loony middle schooler and you ask me if I want to play a question game?"

I pondered this and replied, "I'll take that as a yes!"

Pulling out a white index card, I cleared my throat, "Question Number One…"

**Which do you like better? SadiexAnubis (Sanubis) or SadiexWalt (Salt)?**

Sadie wrinkled her nose, "Why, Sanubis, of course! SadiexWalt equals SALT for Ra's sake! Salt is unhealthy and…well…salty! Anyway, who said I even liked Walt? Plus, Anubis is waaaay better looking than Walt! No offence to Walt or anything…" She exploded angrily.

The Salt part of the audience ran out of the studio, crying, and the Sanubis part started cheering and whooping and causing a ruckus… Ruckus is such a funny word!

I spoke into my mike again, "Now that you've answered that question, let's hear what the people connected to it have to say about your answer!"

Sadie paled, "You don't mean…"

"Yes! Anubis and Walt have been in the studio the whole time!" I waved a remote control and pressed a big red button. A section of the wall folded down revealing the two guys.

Walt trembled from head to toe, stifling tears. Anubis grinned triumphantly and gave me the thumbs up sign.

"So, Walt, what did you think of Sadie's answer?" I asked happily.

He sniffed, "I-I-I…" rather than answering my question, he broke down crying and ran out of the studio.

"Okay…Anubis, what did you think of Sadie's answer?" I asked, turning to the god.

"Well, I have to say I'm slightly happy…" he said slowly, but the huge grin on his face sort of gave it away.

I leaned in to the mike, "Aww, c'mon, just _slightly _happy?"

"Okay, really happy. I mean, that guy kept toying with her feelings! He's about to die anyway." He shrugged.

Sadie was blushing and gripping the stool that she was sitting on, "Please tell me that's it you little creep." She growled through gritted teeth.

"Well, I said a _few _questions…but, I guess you can go!" I pressed another button on my remote and Anubis teleported off and Sadie was flung out the ceiling by one of those springs used in cartoons.

"Let's bring in Contestant Number Two!" I called behind me.

THE STUDIO AUDIENCE CLAPS AS MISTER CARTER KANE STEPS ONTO THE STAGE AND TAKES A SEAT.

"Umm, hello." He waved nervously at me, "What am I doing here?"

I didn't answer him, "Carter Kane, are you ready for a few questions?"

He shifted uncomfortably, "I guess…wait, and how do you know my name?"

"Classified information!" I yelled, causing him to clap his hands over his ears.

I pulled out another index card, "Question Number One…"

**Are you sure you fell in love with Zia and not her shabti?**

He frowned, "Of course I'm sure! I can't love clay! Sure, I may know her shabti better, but that doesn't mean anything!"

The Zarter fans all went, "Awww!" simultaneously and I silenced them.

"Are you ready to hear what the people connected to that question have to say about your answer?" I asked, readying my remote.

He looked confused, "How can you bring in a shabti that-"

I pressed the button quickly and watched his expression as Zia and the shabti were revealed. The crowd tilted their heads in confusion, unable to figure out which one was the real Zia. They all shrugged and guessed she was the one that was jumping up and down happily.

"So, Shabti, what did you think of Carter's answer?" I asked, leaning back in my comfy director's chair.

She sniffed, "I think he should like me because we talked more!" she cried, and then she jumped up, "You can too love clay, Carter!"

Before she could go any further, I pressed another button and she got eaten by a rabid pack of monkeys, "Anyway, what did you think of it, Zia?"

Zia twirled her hair in her hand, "Awww, Carter that was really sweet!"

I rolled my eyes, "Awww, I don't care!" I pressed yet ANOTHER button and Zia was 'escorted' away by angry wolf-men.

I sighed, "I love my job!" I said, then I pressed yet another-other button and Carter got trampled by a herd of hungry elephants.

"Bring in Contestant Number Three!" I called behind me again.

When no one came out, I frowned, "I said, bring in Contestant Number Three!"

My accountant/informant, Izaya, came up to me, "There is no Contestant Number Three…" he said, flicking out his switchblade.

I growled, "What? No more contestants? Well that's no fun!"

He shrugged, "Sorry, Tay (not really). The show's over anyway, everyone left about ten minutes ago."

"Oh." I said, looking down at my Converse, "Okay then. Let's do this some other time!" I exclaimed before skipping out the open door.

Izaya got to work shutting everything down for me, but he saw something blinking on my computer monitor. Looking around, he inched closer to the screen. It said:

**I saw the show. Why not continue it? I'll watch, and after every episode, I'll evaluate the day. For example… today was a 7/10. Walt and Anubis could've fought, or something. Zia and the Shabti could've had a catfight. Make things interesting. I'll be watching.**

**~C00K13 QU33N**

Izaya shook his head, "Nutter…" he mumbled, deleting the message.

**0~0~0~0~0~0**

**This is sorta like The Game Show of Love, but not all questions have to be love-related. Heck, you could ask Philip a question! Yup, you guys are now in control of the questions! **


	2. Crazy Day

**Just so you guys know, all submitted questions WILL be answered at some point during the story. If I didn't get to you this time, I'll get to it next time.**

**Spygurl: Pff, of course I'm gonna ask that! It'll just have to wait until next chapter, okay?**

0~0~0~0~0~0

"Izaya, what's the schedule?" I asked, checking my remote buttons.

He whipped out a piece of paper:

**MuseGirl's letter to Anubis.**

**Non Malum's questions to all the gods, Set, Bast, Khufu, Horus, Osiris, and Philip.**

**Gingerroot15's questions to Khufu and Bast.**

**Chick With Brains' questions to Set, Liz and Emma, Bes, Horus, and Khufu.**

"MuseGirl's letter?" I asked.

He shrugged, "The chick's nuts about annoying Anubis."

The camera guy yelled, "Five minutes 'till airing!"

I tapped Izaya on the nose, "Time to work my magic! Go make sure that Khufu doesn't eat all the Oreos, if you please!" I said sweetly, ushering him away.

He left and I jumped into my director's chair, ready for the show to begin.

The camera man began to count down, "In five, four, three, two!" he held up one finger and I started.

"Alright! Let's bring Anubis in!" I called to Izaya.

He flashed me the thumbs up sign and Anubis calmly walked onto the stage and sat down on the stool.

"Anubis, rather than a question, you've been given a letter!" I said into the mike.

He nodded respectfully, "Bring it."

**Dear Annie,**

**I am writing to inquire about the plans for this show. I have read all the other times I have made you angry/uncomfortable/confused and am anxiously awaiting for these new opportunities. But- but don't rush Annie, waiting for more times to embarrass you like this allows me to think of new ways to torture you. I know you've had enough of this family rivalry, but feel free to strike up the occasion to annoy you at any time.**

**Hugs and Butterfly Kisses, Your MuseGirl (aka Katie)**

"Oh, it's HER." He said disdainfully, "She keeps bothering me."

I nodded, "And what does the audience think of this?"

There was a series of 'boos' and other jeers to the girl that dare bother Anubis.

I nodded again, "That's what I thought…Anyway, that's all for now, Annie!"

"My name's not Ann-" He was cut off by Izaya throwing a burlap sack over his head and dragging him out the studio exit.

"Press the button, Shizuo!" I called behind me.

The boom technician did as I said, and every single god and goddess came raining down onto the floor.

"Welcome, all! Are you guys ready for your question?" I asked, using my favorite bullhorn.

There was a murmur of 'yes' 'no' and 'where's my cheese?' that went through the crowd of gods. Anubis and Anput were turned away from each other to keep a fight from rousing between the divorced god and goddess.

I pulled out an index card and read their question.

**Why do you guys repeat history? If it's repeated, it'll never change, right?**

The gods got into a very crammed huddle and discussed in hushed voices. Horus stood up, "I will be the representative for the gods and will answer the question!" he announced.

Ra stood up shakily, "I like pasta!" he said. Ma'at ushered him back down.

Horus continued, "We're too busy to change things. That's why we use mortals; to prevent old squabbles from happening again. And yes, in a way, if it's repeated it will never change. The people and places will change, but the scenarios will remain un-tampered until some nosy mortal comes in."

"Okay, ready for another question?" I asked over the muttering gods.

**How did the magicians trap you? Did they use trickery? Or did they call upon you for help and then trap you?**

Osiris rose, "I'll be glad to answer this one."

"Where's my pony?" Ra demanded.

Ignoring the comment, Osiris continued, "There really wasn't that much trickery to it. They offered us three tons of banana pudding if we would go in the Rosetta Stone. We like banana pudding. Put the facts together."

I nodded and yelled behind me again, "Shizuo, button time!"

The button was pressed and the gods were whisked away by a giant toaster.

"Bring in the Rockin' Red Reaper!" I called behind me.

Set ran in eagerly, plopping down in the stool.

"So, Set, are you ready for your question?" I asked.

He nodded, trying to contain his excitement.

**Did you ever get Leroy back?**

He looked down, "No. He was one-of-a-kind! Alas, but Carter still doesn't trust me enough to give him back!" he began to fake-cry under his hand that was shielding his face.

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, sure, whatever. Next question!"

**What was it like being a fruit bat?**

He shuddered, "It was awful! Being forced into such a small figure was just terrible! It's hard to contain that much chaos in a guano-producing flying rodent!' he spat.

I gave him a sympathetic look, "Okay then, NEXT question."

**Why do demons look creepy or weird?**

He pondered this for a bit, "Well, since they're often figures of chaos, I don't think much time or carefulness was put into making them. Take Face of Horror for instance, the guy's face wasn't completed before brought to life."

I shivered, "I didn't need to know that…here's the last question!"

"Thank chaos!"

**How come your True Name seems to be the simplest one in the world? Everyone else's is like a paragraph long and everything.**

Set sniffed, "Mommy said that I'm special."

"Okay Triple R, time to get out of here!" I pressed a pretty purple button and when nothing happened, he simply walked out of the studio.

_Note to self: Fix purple button._

"Shizuo, care to bring in dear Bast?" I asked in my I-want-sweets-and-this-is-how-I'm-gonna-get-them voice.

Bast was thrown onto the floor, "Ha, where are your cat reflexes now?" I asked in an undertone.

She took a cautious seat in the nice fluffy stool.

"Bast, we've got a question for you! Are you ready for it?" I asked, leaning back.

"You just asked me a question. Can I go home now?" She replied, opening a can of Friskies.

"I'll take that as a yes!"

**Are you in any way, shape, or form in love with any other gods? Bes? Thoth? Perhaps Sobek, 'cause he's tough and stuff.**

"Ooh, I have to add one in! What about Anubis? You tease him so much; I think you've got a thing for him." I raised my eyebrows and wolf-whistled.

A slow red blush crept onto her face, "Well, not right now…but I used to...date…Sobek."

I did a spit-take (man was I glad I had been drinking at that moment), "Sobek? It was just a suggestion, you know!"

"Well his muscles were HUGE and he made a lot of money from forcing it out of other people!" she defended, ponytail poofed up.

I shook my head, "Goddesses too…" I muttered before having Shizuo knock her out cold and drag her out.

"Bring in Khufu!" I called to Izaya, "Oh, and that new baboon translator!"

Khufu clambered in and sat on this flashy machine which I assumed to be the baboon translator.

"Khufu, are you ready for your question?" I asked, wondering if this would work.

"Agh!" he screeched into the mike in front of him.

It came out of the translator as, "_Got any flamingo 'round here?_"

"Wow, I can't believe that actually worked…"

**How is baboon-talk so effective?**

"Agh!"

The translator said, "_Each word of 'agh' can contain up to 5000 words in meaning. That's why stories I tell can be three 'agh's long. Now can I have flamingo?_"

"Whoa…umm, sure, help yourself." I said numbly, gesturing to the snack buffet behind me that conveniently carried flamingo.

Horus burst through the doors importantly and walked straight to the stool, plopping down, he demanded, "Give me my question, mortal."

"Well then!" I read over the question real quick, "Oh, I think you're gonna like this one…"

**Why are you so stuck-up? Do you have self-esteem issues and hide them by making sure everyone knows you're the best?**

He straightened, "I am NOT stuck-up! I have no self-esteem issues. I don't make sure everyone knows I'm the best, they already know."

"I don't like him…" I muttered, "Shizuo! Take him down!"

Shizuo came on stage and took him down using a legendary wrestling move. The audience was soon chanting, "Shizuo, Shizuo, Shizuo, Shizuo!"

He slung an unconscious Horus over his shoulder and walked off the stage, followed by cheers.

"Bring in Osiris!" I called to Izaya.

Osiris calmly walked in and had a seat.

"Are you ready for your question?" I asked.

He nodded politely, "Yes."

**If gods repeat history, and you had a choice to get in the coffin, why would you? Would it be to 'bring balance to the world' or do you have no choice?**

"I would have no choice, unless a mortal came to interfere with that pattern in history." He rambled.

"M'kay, thanks!" I opened the exit doors and he calmly walked out.

"Bring in Philip and the translator!" I yelled.

I pressed a blue button and a pool popped up in the middle of the stage for Philip. Izaya escorted said crocodile into the pool and by the translator.

"Philip, are you ready for your question?" I asked, playing patty-cake with Shizuo.

He snapped his jaws three times.

The translator said, "_Wasn't that one question?_"

I rolled my eyes, "Egyptian animals are all the same."

He snapped his jaws twice.

"_Do you want Bast to hear that?_" he asked.

I went straight to the question.

**Do you have a girlfriend? Are you looking for love in any animal? Or do you specify in croc-chicks?**

He snapped his jaws several times.

"_Well, I'm currently dating a pelican named Penny_." The translator said in a shy voice.

I laughed, "You sly dog-I mean-crocodile! How does the whole pelican/crocodile love work out?"

There were two irritated snaps.

"_That's none of your beeswax, human_." The translator snapped.

"Okay then! Dry the pool Shizuo!" I yelled.

Philip was sucked into the drain as the water was drained.

"Bring Khufu back in, if you please!"

Said baboon came in on his own accord, plopped down, and screeched into the translator.

"_Bring the question…and some Oreos._"

**Why do you only eat things that end with 'o'? You should eat things that start with 'o'! Or better yet, 'k'!**

Jell-O, an orange, and a kangaroo popped up in front of the baboon.

"Agh…"

"_The first food that Amos introduced me to ended with 'o'. Oranges are too…orangy. I'm a Bama fan! Kangaroos are too jumpy._" The translator replied.

I grinned and tossed him a football, "Roll Tide!" I yelled.

"Agh."

"_Football doesn't end with 'o'_."

Nonetheless, he clambered out and to the snack buffet bar to eat more Oreos.

"Bring in the quartet!" I yelled to Shizuo.

Bast, Sadie, Anubis, and Carter were shoved roughly onto the floor.

"This one's for Bast, we just want to see you three's expressions." I said coolly, examining a woolly mammoth bone.

**How do you feel about Sadie's decision?**

"The one about Sanubis and Salt?" the goddess asked, glaring at Anubis, "I don't like her decision one bit! Walt may die, but at least he's mortal! Anubis could break her heart! Plus, I will not have Sadie dating a dog."

Anubis growled, "Watch it, puss."

Carter raised his hand, "I second Bast's opinion! It's too dangerous for my sister to like a god."

Sadie hugged Anubis, much to his happiness, and glared at Carter and Bast, "I don't care what you guys think, I'm happy with my decision. Care to argue?"

Bast leaned in real close to Anubis; drawing a growl from his lips, "Listen up, dog, if you hurt Sadie way…" she trailed off, motioning with a finger across her neck.

Sadie pushed her, "Stop it, Bast!"

"Look, I'm just doing what's best for you!" the goddess retorted.

Anubis and Carter stepped back. Izaya giggled with glee and said, "Oooh, catfight!"

Before things could get out of hand, I sent them all away with a press of my trusty remote.

I pulled out a walkie-talkie, "Bring Triple R back in!"

Set leisurely strolled in, "Hey crazy chick with the skinny jeans!"

Izaya frowned, "I'm a guy!"

"No, the other one! But it is scary that you're wearing them…anyway, give me my question!" he demanded, spinning on the stool.

**Do you ever wish you were a good guy instead of the god of evil and chaos?**

"No. Being good is boring! Good girls rarely make history."

I had a 'O.o' look on my face, "(a) You're not a girl and (b) you actually watch that show?"

Set also had a 'O.o' look on his face. He squealed something about tomatoes and ran out of the studio.

*Sigh* "Bring in Liz and Emma!"

The two giggly preteens skipped onto the stage. Liz gasped, "Omigosh, it's a stage! I knew I'd be famous!"

"Girls, are you ready for your conjoined question?" I asked, sort of scared at the enthusiasm received from kidnapping them.

"Oooh, question? Is it about my life for my autobiography? Bring it on!" Liz and Emma squealed in sync.

**Is it true that you two are plotting to steal Anubis from Sadie?**

Emma giggled, "Anubis is that sexy guy that Sadie kissed at the graveyard, right?"

I nodded, "Yup."

Liz gave her a sly look and she nodded, "Oh yeah. He's way too good-lookin' for Sadie to have all to herself!"

I had yet another 'O.o' look on my face, "Oookay…thanks girls…sort of."

They giggled and skipped away happily.

I sighed, "Gosh, who knew this show would have so many reviews! This is gonna be a loooong episode."

Izaya came up to me, "Who is that smelly, awful, foul, ugly, rude, creature waiting at the snack bar?"

My eyes lit up, "Oh, that's Bes! It's his turn, I completely forgot! Bring him in."

Bes strolled in, "Heard about the questions, kid, I want mine."

I wrinkled my nose, "Heard of please?"

"Nope. Give me my question."

I sighed.

**Have you considered cosmetic surgery? Not that I'm trying to say that you're ugly, it's just, well you should know.**

The dwarf god pouted, "What, am I not pretty enough? I think I'm pretty!" he took Shizuo by the shirt, "Tell me I'm pretty, you little daffodil!"

Shizuo frowned and chucked him out the window.

Horus stomped in, "Give me my question!" he demanded.

I looked back at Izaya. He texted me.

_There are several left. I'm gonna skip the 'escorting' people in and out to save time. Hurry up, Tay, the show's gone on long enough._

I had one of those 'oh, duh!' moments, and texted back.

_There's just Horus and Khufu left! After that, no more for today!_

"Eh-hem!" Horus cleared his throat impatiently, "I want my question! Now!"

**Would it annoy you if everyone started calling you Goldie the Birdman?**

"Heck yeah it would! I'm not even a blonde!" He yelled.

Izaya and I snickered, "But you're dumb as one…" (**A/N That was not meant as disrespectful to blondes. I'm one too, as a matter of fact!**)

Shizuo grabbed Horus by the shoulders and roughly pushed him out. The baboon translator was set up quickly and Khufu, sensing the urgency, made things quick.

"Agh!"

"_Question, please!_"

"**Agh, Agh!**"

Translation: **How did you meet Amos?**

"Agh agh agh!"

"_Believe it or not, but each magician is assigned a godly creature at the age of twenty, depending on the god they studied. Amos studied Thoth, so it was either me or a stupid Ibis._"

I nodded, "I would've preferred a baboon myself!"

He scratched his bum and left for good that day. I sighed and slumped into my seat, watching all the contestants leave the building for the day.

Shizuo came up to me, tapping his cigarette on his knee nervously, "Umm, I've got some news…"

I frowned, "There aren't any more for today, are there?"

"No, worse. Your brother is coming tomorrow. He heard about the show and wants to co-host."

My eye twitched, "Gah, doesn't Jacob know that this isn't child's play, and that this is a show broadcasted to millions of magicians!"

He shrugged, "Sorry, but you know him. Once his mind is set on something, you can't stop him. C'mon, Izaya's gonna meet us in a few to get frozen yogurt."

I gave him a weak smile, "Alright. Tomorrow's gonna be hectic."

We left and Izaya went to work, cleaning up the set and all. He saw my flashing monitor and stalked closer to it.

**Today was good. A little crazy, but good nonetheless. Today was a 9/10, Horus needed to suffer more! We need more drama, Sanubis and Zarter type of drama. Push the four to their limits; show me the evil inside of you, Izaya-kun!**

**~C00K13 QU33N**

Izaya officially believed in this person. He wondered wether to tell me or not. He decided not to, and exited the building slowly. Jacob was coming tomorrow; he might as well have deserved some Izaya-time.

0~0~0~0~0~0

**Next episode, I'm going to get to TheAnnoyingOne97 and spygurl's questions for sure, so hang tight! Keep those questions comin' you know I love reviews! Oh, and yes, C00K13 K1Ng will be a co-host for next chapter, so he's officially helping me with the story as of the next episode!**


	3. Filler Chapter XD

***Whistles* Gosh, I've got a lot of questions comin' in…KEEP 'EM COMIN' GUYS! *Cough* Oh, yes, C00K13 K1NG is officially a co-author for this story! You all are just thrilled aren't you?**

**Big news: This chapter is going to be short and it won't be answering any questions. Next chapter will be extra-long and question-packed, okay?**

0~0~0~0~0~0

I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples, _Shut. Up. No one cares about your newest video game! _I thought as my little brother, Jacob, talked and talked.

"Hey, Taylor, who is that scary guy with the muscles?" he asked, pointing at Shizuo.

I growled, "He's gonna be your babysitter if you don't shut up!"

That got him quiet.

"Izaya! I need my chocolate." I yelled to the raven-haired, skinny jean wearin', obnoxious, informant.

He threw a Hershey bar at me.

"Thanks!" I made sure that my words dripped with sarcasm.

Jacob poked me, "Ooh, is that a snack buffet? Do you think they have pizza?" he asked.

"Yes, Jacob. I designed the buffet, of course there's pizza." I sighed.

He ran straight to the sugar section. Fine by me, I'm not the one who has to force him to bed.

Shizuo walked up to me, "Did your brother call me the 'scary guy with the muscles'?" he asked.

"Yup! Sorry, Shizuo, but things are a little crazy with him around! I promised to let him be co-host a few hours ago if he'd stop biting Izaya so you'll have to deal with him for a while!" I apologized.

He sighed, closed his eyes, and said as calmly as he could, "Okay. But if that runt touches my bartender outfit, there will be blood."

That was the best you can ever get from Shizuo, "Thanks, Shizzy! Try not to hurt him too much!" I pleaded, and kissed him on the cheek before skipping off.

Izaya waltzed over to Shizuo, "Oh Shizu-chan, I want a kiss on the cheek! C'mere!"

Shizuo's eyes widened and he took off down the hall, screaming about a drunk Izaya.

Izaya grinned and leaned against the buffet table. He leaned over to my brother, "Don't believe that oaf, I'm against alcohol."

My brother gave him an odd look and nodded slowly, swallowing a hunk of banana bread, "That's nice to know. Hey, you're a friend of Taylors, aren't you?" he asked as soon as he swallowed.

I nodded, "Yeah, I guess."

He gave me this creepy grin, "Does she have any embarrassing secrets?"

"What the crap? You sound like a ten year old! No, not that I know of…" I said.

He pouted, "Hey, a brother needs his bribes, doesn't he?"

"Yeah, I guess." I shrugged.

He tapped his nose, filled his shirt with spaghetti, and took off down the studio hall.

Izaya frowned, _Weird family…_

0~0~0~0~0~0

**Alright, I'll admit it; this was more of a filler chapter so you guys could be properly introduced to Jake (nickname)! I need more question, anyway. :P**


	4. Little Brother Comes

**Hey dudes and dudetts, It's rainin' cat's 'n dogs out here (hee, it would be funny if that actually happened) so C00K13 K1NG and I are typing as fast as we can before the power goes out! Power outages= No updates! **

0~0~0~0~0~0

"So, I get to co-host, right?" my brother asked me for the millionth time.

I nodded, "Yup. C'mon the show's starting."

He jumped up and down and plopped into the director's chair next to mine, "Can I read some of the questions?"

I sighed, "If you feel the need to, then sure."

Izaya came up to me, "Here's the schedule!"

**TheAnnoyingOne97's question to Anubis.**

**Awesome PJOHarry's questions to Julius and Bast.**

**Spygurl's questions to Anubis and Sadie.**

**Animal Charmer 11's questions to Zia and Ra.**

**Musegirl's letters to Anubis, Ra, and Isis.**

"That's all we can take for today." He informed me, "There are so many questions coming in, we can't fit them all in one episode!"

My brother tugged on my sleeve, "Hey, Tay, can I do the first question?" he asked eagerly.

I frowned and sighed, "Fine."

"Ooh! Can I use your remote too?" he continued.

I snapped, "That is where I draw the line! NO ONE touches my remote except for ME!"

"What line?" he asked somewhat innocently.

I facepalmed, "That was a rhetorical question."

"It wasn't even a question!"

I just stopped talking to him altogether.

"Shizuo! Bring in Anubis!" I called over my shoulder.

Anubis sat down and gave me a careful look, "I'm sort of afraid to get my question…"

Jacob took my trusty mike and said, "Hi, Anubis! I've heard TONS about you, Taylor just doesn't stop! It's always 'Anubis did this' 'Anubis did that' 'Anubis brushed his teeth' it never ends!"

He gave me a weary look, "I feel for ya, kid."

_I'm no kid! _I thought as Jake read the question.

**When are you going to take Sadie on a REAL date?**

Anubis frowned, "If I have to answer…with Osiris' permission, I'm taking her to Disney World this summer."

"Dude, it's already summer." My brother said in a bored voice, "Scary muscle man! Come bring in the next contestant!"

I hit him, "That's MY call, kid!"

Nonetheless, Shizuo came to show Anubis the exit and bring in Julius.

"Oh, hi Julius! Tay doesn't really talk about you much…" he said.

Julius gave him an odd look, "Umm, okay?"

**Do you think it's wise for Sadie and Anubis to like each other and maybe start dating in the future?**

Julius replied, "_I _think it's wise for Anubis to keep away from my daughter."

Jacob snickered, "Ouch! Wait 'till the poor guy hears about that!"

Before Julius could retaliate, Shizuo came and dragged him off the stage.

Bast trotted in before I could say anything. My brother held the mike to his mouth but I snatched it back, "No more questions for you, mister!" I growled.

"So, Bast, ready for your question?" I asked, happy to be with my mike again.

She sighed, "If I must…"

**After what happened to Bes, could we see a little romance in there?**

She turned red, "O-Of course not! Not in a million years! I'd sooner like dog boy!" she stuttered.

I grinned evilly, "So you're saying you like Anubis?"

"No! I'm saying I like Anubis more than Bes!" She cried.

"Didn't you and Bes used to be a thing?" I asked.

She looked down, "Maybe."

"So that means that you like Anubis MORE than that, right?" I coaxed.

She stood up and stormed out, "GAH! You mortals are impossible!"

My brother started cracking up. Even Izaya came by to high-five me, "You manipulated her better than I could've done! Congrats, kiddo!"

"Bring Anubis in!" I yelled. I was soooo ready for him to answer this question.

Anubis gave me a worried glance at the grin on my face, "Skip the whole 'are you ready' thing, let's go straight to the question!" I cried with glee.

**Boxers or briefs?**

His face looked exactly like 'O.o'. It. Was. Amazing.

"Do I really have to answer that?" he asked, anguished.

"Yes." Jacob and I said simultaneously.

He sighed, "Fine, boxers."

I grinned again, "I don't believe you!"

He growled at me, "I don't CARE if you don't believe me, but there's no way in the Duat that I'm taking my pants off to show you!"

I pouted, "Shizuuuuuo! We have an uncooperative contestant!"

As soon as Anubis saw Shizuo, he held up his hands, "FINE! Just get everyone out of here!" he cried, pointing to the audience.

The Sanubis fans went 'Awwww!' but the Zarter fans were all 'Sweet. I'm out of here, suckers.'

After a while, I got all of the audience members out. Even the ones that hid in the ceiling lights. How had they even gotten up there?

"There you go, Anubis!" I said proudly.

He muttered, "I can't believe I'm doing this…" and slowly pulled his pants down. He wasn't wearing a belt, how rebellious!

He wasn't lying, he wore plain black boxers. Bo-ring!

"If you say a word to Sadie, I'll-" he started.

"Oh, that won't be necessary. She saw it herself!" I said as if it was normal.

His face heated up, "No!"

"Yes!" I cackled happily. I took out my handy-dandy noteb- I mean –remote! And pressed a sparkly button.

The wall slowly turned inside out to reveal Sadie, holding a tissue to her nose to stop her nosebleed. She saw Anubis and turned REDDER than a tomato.

Anubis looked mortified, and pulled his pants back up hastily.

"Sadie you've got a question, too!"

**Have you ever seen Anubis in his underwear? If so, what did you think?**

She stuttered, "W-Well, this was…the first time…" she started awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck, "And… I really don't want to answer that last part."

I stuck my tongue out, "Well too bad, you have to!"

"Fine! I guess it was…Okay, screw this, it was pretty awesome!" she blurted out, and then covered her mouth with her hand.

I giggled, "Thanks you two! Come again!" I pressed another button and they both fell through the floor.

Wrong button.

Oops.

"Drag- I mean –Bring Zia in!" I ordered Izaya.

She came in on her own accord.

"Yeesh, what's with all the 'coming in without my permission' about?" I muttered to my brother.

"Give me my question, please. Make it fast, I don't want to have to endure the pain that long!" she pleaded, looking away from me.

Seems like she knows how bad this normally is. I'm gonna have a talk with Carter about letting out information later.

**What was your first thought of Carter when he rescued you from the village?**

She blushed, "Well, I thought he was…cute. I like how his curly hair is growing out…" she giggled.

"Let's hear what Carter has to say about this!" I said happily.

She paled, "No!"

I laughed, "Meh, just joking. Carter's out saving the world again anyway."

Izaya pushed her out of the stool and made her walk all the way home.

"Bring in Ra! Make sure there's plenty of weasel soup at the snack buffet…" I muttered.

I watched Shizuo and Izaya accompany the old nutter to a nicer chair.

"Hello, Ra. Do you think you could answer a question for us?" I asked kindly.

Jacob snorted, "You and your many personalities…"

Ra scratched his head, "PEANUTS AND ENCHILADAS!" he yelled.

"I'll just take that as a yes…"

**Is Apophis' venom going to heal you?**

His eyebrows furrowed, deep in thought, "Apophis is that famous lady who sings about babies and never saying never and stuff. Right?" he decided.

I laughed, "Well, he's as evil as him."

"Him? I thought it was a girl."

"We all did."

"That zebra slapped me!" he accused loudly, pointing at the door.

I nodded slowly, "Yup. Go chase the zebra!"

He got up and started shuffling slowly to the door. Shizuo gave him a little push to get to the door.

Ra ran out the door, screaming, "That'll teach YOU to eat me weasel soup!"

"Bring Anubis back in!" I yelled to Shizuo.

Anubis was restrained by chains.

"Why…" I started.

"He reeeeally wants to kill you!" said Izaya cheerfully, "Under normal circumstances, I would let him, but children watch this show."

I laughed, "Ah, I understand! You've got another letter from MuseGirl!"

**Dearest Annie,**

**You are so mean to me. All I want to do is annoy you but NO, you have to be all "I'm not letting this chick annoy me." Well, I am heartbroken and crying. And for that I shall annoy you more than ever! By the way I'm not crazy; I'm just determined to get what I want no matter the cost. (Familiar?) Look to be honest, why can't we just get along? Oh wait because you bother me that's why! And audience jeering at me? Prepare to face my wrath later on. I always get even.**

**Love, Katie**

Anubis' eyes dulled, "GOSH, THE TORTURE NEVER ENDS!" he cried, "Enough with this stupid grudge! I want a truce or something, just MAKE IT STOP!"

My eyebrows shot up, "Wow, you've gone nuts."

He wrenched his way out of the chains and stormed out of the studio.

"Bring Ra back in!" I called cheerfully behind me.

Jacob poked me, "Hey, let me do this one!"

"Fine." I shrugged.

Ra took a seat. He was quiet. Too quiet.

"I want my question!" he demanded.

"It's actually a letter…" Jake admitted.

**Dear Ra,**

**I formally apologize for the whole forced retirement thing. You know why. And also can we discuss Annie getting banished from the Duat? It would be awesome!**

**Hugs and Butterfly Kisses, Katie**

Ra scratched his head, "Who's Annie? Can she make weasel soup?"

Jacob shook his head, "NEXT!" he called.

I muttered about how that was MY call, and pressed my orange button. Ra was flung out of his seat. No biggie.

Isis flew in gracefully, "I hear you have a letter for me." She said.

I nodded, "Here it is!" I read it before my brother could…SUCKER!

**Dear Lady Isis,**

**Why must you like Sadie? She is kind of a brat and there must be some other person who you can spend time with. Also, do you like Apollo?**

**Sincerely, Katie**

Isis frowned, "Well, Sadie reminds me of myself. I do like to go fishing with Anubis sometimes…I don't really like Apollo. He's a self-centered bigot."

I grinned, "Well said! That's all for today, everyone clear out!" I dragged Jacob out by his ear.

Izaya instantly checked the monitor.

**Congrats, you've earned a 10/10! That whole Anubis thing: PRICELESS! Ra's a nice touch too! My brother's helping me now, just like yours.**

**~C00K13 QU33N and K1NG**

0~0~0~0~0~0

**I'm thinkin' about taking five people's questions per episode. Keep reviewin', reviews are what keep me going with my stories. C00K13 QU33N (and K1NG) out!**


	5. Sorry, Guys!

**Okay, if you wanted a chapter, you're out of luck. In fact, if you wanted any more chapters other than this, then you're still out of luck. I've completely lost any inspiration I had before for this story. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Nothing. I may have tons of more questions to answer, but I'm awful about using detail, and I can't keep focused for that long.**

**If you really, really liked this story, and would like to continue it, just PM me. I'll let you work on it, if you like. You just have to give me credit.**

**Of course, if you don't really care what happens, nothing out of the ordinary will happen. You can PM for the story whenever you want, as long as no one's taken it by now.**

**Super, super, SUPER, sorry guys! **

**~C00K13 QU33N~ **

**AND K1NG****! HAHAhA!**


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